


Excuses

by happyxwalsh



Series: Season 1 [5]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst, Connor needing his Ollie, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oliver being a sweet cinnamon roll, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 10:18:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13972947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyxwalsh/pseuds/happyxwalsh
Summary: Connor had to make an excuse; the drug problem excuse was genius.





	Excuses

_Oliver 12:37  
Do you know when you’re going to get out of work?_

_Connor 12:49  
Free now, but if we talk it’s going to have to be short._

_Oliver 12:50  
Okay, come over._

Connor’s aware that this is bad idea, however, he also knows that Oliver wouldn’t stop calling and texting him if he just ignored him. He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t want to go over there. Oliver didn’t deserve this, he should be happy with his new boyfriend and not have to deal with Connor’s crap. Yet, the law student can’t help but drive over there and knock on the door to apartment 303.

The older man opened his door, wishing that the concern plastered on his face wasn’t showing, “Hey.”

“Hi,” Connor mutters, refusing to meet Oliver’s eyes, staring at the floor. A hollow pit in his stomach grows the more neither of them say anything, after all, silence is really loud, “like I said I have a limited window,” he rushed out, as if he was running out of time. Considering the fact he just helped cover up a murder and could be arrested at any moment, he might not have long. Paranoia really is a bitch.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Oliver awkwardly mumbled out, letting the law student back into his apartment. In the last 24 hours, the older man saw Connor in a complete new light. If you asked him yesterday, he would have said he’s a cheating asshole. Now, Oliver sees a damaged man who’s can’t even take care of himself, “I know you don’t have long, so I’ll make this quick. When did it all start?” He continues, making his way over to the couch and hinting at Connor to follow.

“A few weeks ago, I’m not entirely sure, it was supposed to just help me relax because things with Annalise are intense- to say the least. It accidentally became a problem,” the younger man says, deepening himself into the lies, “I’m too deep into this mess and I don’t know how to get out of it,” that’s the only true part in the story.

“I appreciate you telling me and I’ll help you. I’ve researched some rehab facilities and some meetings you can go to,” Connor feels a twinge of guilt, why does Oliver care so much about him?

“Oliver, I promise I’ll get help,” the law student swallows the feeling of his stomach in knots, “after exams,” the older man stares at him in disbelief, for a few seconds, wondering what’s going on in Connor’s messy head.

“Are you serious?” The older man didn’t know what angered him more, his ex boyfriend’s silence or his unwillingness to get help, “you’re a drug addict, Connor! You might think that it’s not a big deal, but it is!” Oliver snapped causing the younger man to flinch slightly, “do you really think that I’ll let you leave on a fake promise?”

“Exams are in a few days, work isn’t great right now and I need to focus on it,” he pauses, ignoring the thousands of voices in his head increasing his anxiety, “I’m sorry, Oliver,” for everything. The murder accomplice wanted to add, but refrained because he knew it would make things worse. Before Oliver can respond, Connor hears his phone go off.

_Frank 13:21  
Hair gel, where are you? I told you to not go far, text me._

“Hair gel? You surely don’t use that much product that it’s become a nickname, right?” The older man laughs softly, Connor smiles at the sight.

“No, but I should start heading back. Today’s case is a stressful one,” the man sighs and starts walking over to the door, “see you around.”

“Connor- don’t overdo it, okay? Surely the case isn’t that stressful?” He jokingly points out, though by the look of sadness and fear Connor’s face he can tell that he should stop, “what’s the case about?”

“We know who killed Lila Stangard, it was Annalise’s husband. He had an affair with her, she got pregnant, forced to her into an abortion, she didn’t want one so he killed her,” the hacker gasps in shock, while the younger man stays emotionless. If he’s numb, it’s easier to deal with everything anyway.

“Do you have solid proof or are you supposed to be looking for that right now?” Oliver queries in a silvery tone.

“I do need to find proof, which is why I need to go and do that,” Connor begins to walk away because, as much as he wants to stay, he has to leave. God knows, Oliver would be better off without him.

“I’ll help, sit down,” the older man demands, while he grabs his laptop and starts hacking, “so, what are you on right now? Adderall? Heroin?” His tone goes from soft to cold, Connor never understood people and Oliver sure as hell isn’t making it any easier.

“I said I would get help after exams,” he reminds the hacker, stopping himself from angering him anymore than he already has.

“I’m sure,” Oliver continues to be cold towards the law student, which makes Connor feel as if he needs to get defensive.

“Oliver-“

“You need to help your boss prove her husband’s a murderer, so you don’t have time to worry about yourself right now. I get it,” as much as Connor wanted to be mad, he couldn’t. Oliver obviously has a point, “there’s nothing for the night of the 29th,” The younger man sighs in disappointment, realising he’s going to jail, “you okay?”

“Sure, I’m just really tired; being interrogated by the police all morning isn’t exactly something that boosts your mood,” the law student softly laughs, instantly feeling uncomfortable, as memories from last start appearing in his brain.

“Why don’t you sleep for a little bit and then go back for work?” Oliver’s fixed face looks at Connor’s lifeless eyes; he may of only missed one day of sleep but he looks like he hasn’t slept in centuries. A broken man, who is hiding so much pain behind his ‘tired’ facade. How he wishes for this all to be a nightmare, a nightmare that he will wake up from and everything will be okay. Distractions from the truth hurt.

“Oliver, I’ll be okay. I promise I’ll sleep all night long.”

“You better. Look, I don’t want you to deal with this alone so I’m allowing you to come back and visit me. After work and as many times as you want. I’ll be keeping an eye on you, making sure that you’re not taking anything. Not like you have a choice but are you okay with that?” The hacker mumbles out, avoiding staring into Connor’s sorrowful eyes.

“Can I come back tonight?” Connor’s words echo out into the air, leaving Oliver filled with hope that he can change and that he wants to. Yet, there’s still that feeling of pure terror that he will show up high and confused. In the depths of all those emotions, relief flows through his veins because his Connor came home.  
                  -•-•-•-  
He hated her; Connor hated Annalise. She’s acting like she understands him, comparing herself to him. If he ever becomes like Annalise, he hopes someone will put him out of his misery. Sure, Connor worries but it’s not his fault. GAD doesn’t exactly keep his worries at bay, it makes them worse. The younger man trusts Oliver to make these thoughts disappear, just for while.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” The older man snaps Connor out of his deep trance. He looks away from the same spot he’s been staring at on the tv for the past ten minutes.

“Yeah, totally fine,” normally, Oliver would understand that Connor wouldn’t talk to him. However from the moment the last student walked through the door, he could tell that Connor cried at some point during the day. His eyes swollen, his nose red.

“I’m not saying you have to tell me every single problem you have; I just want you to open up. I’ve seen your face, Connor, I’m not stupid. You’ve been crying, why?” No words leave his lips, Connor can only bring himself to rest his head on Oliver’s lap and close his eyes. His movement takes the older man by surprise, “Connor?”

“I just had a bad day, that’s all. Annalise is making me feel like I’m losing my mind and it’s slightly draining me,” the law student admits, whilst burying his head further into the comfort and security of Oliver’s lap.

“At least you are back here with me and away from that situation. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what,” the hacker sympathises his broken boyfriend.

“I don’t need you all the time, just now,” Connor lifted his head off Oliver’s lap, places himself where his head was, and sinks his eyes into the older man’s shoulder, “you smell good,” he continues, taking in his boyfriend’s scent to distract himself from crying.

“You do too. For the record, I could stay like this all day.”

Those ten words that made Connor feel complete.  
                   -•-•-•-  
_‘Professor Sam Keating was found earlier today in a landfill, detectives are still investigating this awful crime.’_

Connor felt his heart stop. Someone has to be setting them up. What if Annalise knows and is getting her revenge? He only knows one thing; he is absolutely screwed.

“Connor, it’s okay,” reassuring words come out of his worried boyfriend, but all they sound like is distorted poison. It’s not going to be okay, Connor got dragged into this mess and now he’s going to jail, “you need to breathe for me,” The younger man couldn’t do the one thing Oliver needs him to do; breathe. Every single breath of air hurt, like someone was melting his lungs inside out.

“I-I can’t,” He wheezes out, gripping tightly into Oliver’s hand, wishing for the pain to go away, “it hurts too much.”

"I promise I’ll stay with you, until it’s okay again. You even spend the night; just breathe for me. Try?” Connor desperately nods his head, knowing that this is what he needs - Oliver.

The younger man doesn’t calm down for another 10 minutes, but Oliver kept his promise and stayed. Not like he made much of a choice with Connor’s arms wrapped securely around the older man’s waist; he didn’t complain though, “thank you, Ollie. Finding out that where you work isn’t exactly a safe place to be is terrifying. I’m glad I have you though.”

They spent the rest of the night curled into each other and both fell asleep with smiles on their faces. 


End file.
